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To The Asshole Who Abused My Dog

Advocacy 03.29.2019
By Jill Caren
Letter To My Dogs Abuser
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Today my dog lunged at me.

Teeth out, crazy look in her eyes and for the first time in 2.5 years I was afraid of her.

We were on the couch – she was sleeping with her head on my legs.

I moved.

She snapped.

I cried.

What the hell did you do to her?

She knew immediately what she did was wrong and went in her crate and cowered. Even though I did not yell at her – and I sure as hell did not blame her.

She is broken.

I blame you.

When I saw her in the shelter – emaciated and so shut down she had to be carried out to me, my heart broke and I hated you with every ounce of my being for doing that to her.

She could barely walk from her back legs being too weak.

How long did you keep her crated with no room to move?

How much money did you make from the puppies you made her have?

Letter To My Dogs Abuser
Cleo in her favorite place – the backyard with a ball.

She has lived with us for 2.5 years now.

She still cowers when a hand is over her head.

She is still on guard every waking minute of the day.

She spends more time awake than asleep because she lives in a world of fear.

This is all your fault.

But those times she does let it down – and can be a dog, make all the work worth it.

When she is in the yard with a ball, she is a dog.

Just a dog – without a care in the world.

I tell myself she is making up for the years of play she never had.

Because you never spent an ounce of time with her.

When she is on a walk – her second favorite thing to do, she walks proud – she takes time to enjoy everything and looks back at me to make sure I am right by her side. I assure her I am and always will be.

Those are the moments that matter to me.

She will never be able to just enjoy being in a room full of people handing out hugs.

She still puts her tail between her legs and cowers to the ground when meeting new people.

She still gets nervous when we go new places, we are assuming because she is afraid of being dumped.

She still licks constantly because she is always nervous.

She is still broken.

I hate you for that.

She is a pit bull/Plott hound mix.

I am assuming you liked her look and her breed because you think you are cool and could make easy money.

I want to make it clear that her breed had nothing to do with her lunging at me.

YOU had everything to do with it. 

She was found roaming the streets of Elizabeth, NJ emaciated and broken.

What happened – she piss you off?

Or were her puppies not worth enough?

Whatever it was I am thankful you let her go so she could find a better life.

I do not know the evil that runs in your head to do what you did to her.

I can only hope that there are no other animals in your home.

I want you to know the dog you beat, well she is mine.

She is LOVED. She is SAFE. 

And I am doing everything I can to make you disappear from her mind.

Maybe you never felt loved or safe in your life.

Maybe having control over an innocent animal makes you feel like a big man.

I think it just makes you a weak asshole.

But thank you for allowing me to be the one to make her life as amazing as we can.

Thank you for letting me be the one to try and get rid of the demons that lie within her head.

Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to be the one that makes her smile and do zoomies in the yard.

Thank you for offering me the chance to really understand how wonderful it is to rescue a broken dog, because she has taught me more than I could ever imagine about forgiveness, patience, love and trust.

Some may say I should get rid of her if she can snap for no reason.

But that will NEVER happen, because she deserves to have the life she has.

She deserves a chance to be a happy go lucky dog that wags her tail freely and can enjoy the touch of a stranger.

While that may never happen – she deserves the chance.

But you, you deserve nothing good in life.

I wish you no evil or harm – that is not my style.

But I do hope that someone – somewhere can change your evil heart.

To Those That Take The Broken Animals.

I wanted to say thank you.

Thank you to every adopter, foster and rescue that gives broken dogs like Cleo a chance.

It is not an easy road with a dog like her.

It takes a whole lotta’ patience, a whole lotta’ love and a whole lotta’ sacrifice to care for a dog that has been emotionally damaged from abuse and neglect.

So if you are caring for one – THANK YOU.

I never considered myself “special” because I kept her.

But I do realize that many would have given up a long time ago.

Having a dog that is not “fun” or “carefree” is not usually what a potential adopter wants.

So for those of you taking the harder path – you are amazing and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving these broken souls a chance at an amazing life.

Personally – I will do it all over again when the opportunity comes my way because caring for Cleo is one of the best things I have ever done in my life.

Jill Caren

Jill Caren Bio Logo

Jill Caren

Jill is the owner and creator of CharityPaws and has been involved in animal rescue for over 12 years as a volunteer and board member for Jersey Animal Welfare Society. You can read all of her articles here.

Reader Interactions

8 Responses...

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  1. Alexis Richard says

    My dog is normally calm… but every once in a while he flinches and shuts down completely, or growls at a stranger, tail tucked and head down, ears flat. And I know that whoever’s had my dog before fucked up. And even though I’ve had him for almost 4 years….. I’m still dealing with what they managed to fuck up in two.

    • Jill Caren says

      UGH, so you have the same story to tell. It takes special people to handle these types of dogs – and I tell myself all the time it she is absolutely worth it, but it is exhausting some times. Thank you for being a great dog mom!

  2. Debi says

    Have a rescue and he is the best thing to happen to us. He saved me. He is my best friend. But like you he had numberous problems. He is better but can freak out very quickly. Scared of everything including leaves blowing across the ground. He is our baby. Fred the english sweet bulldog. Rescue dogs are the best!!

    • Jill Caren says

      Well it sounds like Fred is one lucky guy to have found you for his family! Thank you for being one of those special people that is willing to do what it takes to make those “harder” dogs happy! And of course we agree — rescue dogs are the BEST dogs!

  3. Cheryl says

    You are my Hero for saving Cleo. Yes she deserves all the love and patience you are giving her. Thank You from the bottom of my heart. If this world had more people in it like you we would be a lot better place. God Bless You and Cleo.

    • Jill Caren says

      Aww thank you Cheryl. Definitely not a hero – just someone who got lucky with a dog that clearly needed me. I do wish there were more people who had the patience to for the more difficult dogs. I wish more people would try it and see how great the reward is. When I see her be a “dog” – there is seriously nothing that makes me happier!

  4. Sheila says

    Omg that made me cry I just don’t understand why people abuse animals or children it just hurts me to the core because they are both helpless and don’t have a voice it just all needs to stop and I hope they make it a felony for abusing animals and I hope it already is for children and thank you for not giving up on Cleo beautiful dog 😍

    • Jill Caren says

      Thank you so much Sheila! Hopefully someday soon, animal abuse WILL be a felony. We get a little closer all the time.

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