Today my dog lunged at me.
Teeth out, crazy look in her eyes and for the first time in 2.5 years I was afraid of her.
We were on the couch – she was sleeping with her head on my legs.
What the hell did you do to her?
She knew immediately what she did was wrong and went in her crate and cowered. Even though I did not yell at her – and I sure as hell did not blame her.
She is broken.
I blame you.
When I saw her in the shelter – emaciated and so shut down she had to be carried out to me, my heart broke and I hated you with every ounce of my being for doing that to her.
She could barely walk from her back legs being too weak.
How long did you keep her crated with no room to move?
How much money did you make from the puppies you made her have?
She has lived with us for 2.5 years now.
She still cowers when a hand is over her head.
She is still on guard every waking minute of the day.
She spends more time awake than asleep because she lives in a world of fear.
This is all your fault.
But those times she does let it down – and can be a dog, make all the work worth it.
When she is in the yard with a ball, she is a dog.
Just a dog – without a care in the world.
I tell myself she is making up for the years of play she never had.
Because you never spent an ounce of time with her.
When she is on a walk – her second favorite thing to do, she walks proud – she takes time to enjoy everything and looks back at me to make sure I am right by her side. I assure her I am and always will be.
Those are the moments that matter to me.
She will never be able to just enjoy being in a room full of people handing out hugs.
She still puts her tail between her legs and cowers to the ground when meeting new people.
She still gets nervous when we go new places, we are assuming because she is afraid of being dumped.
She is scared of everything.
She still licks constantly because she is always nervous.
She is still broken.
I hate you for that.
She is a pit bull/Plott hound mix.
I am assuming you liked her look and her breed because you think you are cool and could make easy money.
I want to make it clear that her breed had nothing to do with her lunging at me.
YOU had everything to do with it.
She was found roaming the streets of Elizabeth, NJ emaciated and broken.
What happened – she piss you off?
Or were her puppies not worth enough?
Whatever it was I am thankful you let her go so she could find a better life.
I do not know the evil that runs in your head to do what you did to her.
I can only hope that there are no other animals in your home.
I want you to know the dog you beat, well she is mine.
She is LOVED. She is SAFE.
And I am doing everything I can to make you disappear from her mind.
Maybe you never felt loved or safe in your life.
Maybe having control over an innocent animal makes you feel like a big man.
I think it just makes you a weak asshole.
But thank you for allowing me to be the one to make her life as amazing as we can.
Thank you for letting me be the one to try and get rid of the demons that lie within her head.
Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to be the one that makes her smile and do zoomies in the yard.
Thank you for offering me the chance to really understand how wonderful it is to rescue a broken dog, because she has taught me more than I could ever imagine about forgiveness, patience, love and trust.
Some may say I should get rid of her if she can snap for no reason.
But that will NEVER happen, because she deserves to have the life she has.
She deserves a chance to be a happy go lucky dog that wags her tail freely and can enjoy the touch of a stranger.
While that may never happen – she deserves the chance.
But you, you deserve nothing good in life.
I wish you no evil or harm – that is not my style.
But I do hope that someone – somewhere can change your evil heart.
To Those That Take The Broken Animals.
I wanted to say thank you.
Thank you to every adopter, foster and rescue that gives broken dogs like Cleo a chance.
It is not an easy road with a dog like her.
It takes a whole lotta’ patience, a whole lotta’ love and a whole lotta’ sacrifice to care for a dog that has been emotionally damaged from abuse and neglect.
So if you are caring for one – THANK YOU.
I never considered myself “special” because I kept her.
But I do realize that many would have given up a long time ago.
Having a dog that is not “fun” or “carefree” is not usually what a potential adopter wants.
So for those of you taking the harder path – you are amazing and I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving these broken souls a chance at an amazing life.
Personally – I will do it all over again when the opportunity comes my way because caring for Cleo is one of the best things I have ever done in my life.